August 25th, 2025

"You don’t get the life you deserve, you get the life you tolerate."

Wow.

A friend invited me to lunch last week, and honestly, I almost didn’t go. It was on a Monday, and I had just gotten back from a family trip in South Carolina. Work was already piling up, and skipping lunch felt like the “responsible” thing to do.

But I hadn’t spoken to this friend in a few months. And while I’m lucky enough to be in a position where I can step out for a mid-day lunch, I don’t take advantage of that nearly enough. So I went. And I’m so glad I did.

He had invited a few of his other friends too, people I hadn’t met before, and we ended up having an incredibly deep and helpful conversation. At one point, someone said:

“You don’t get the life you deserve, you get the life you tolerate.”

And that hit me hard.

I started thinking about all the things I’ve been tolerating lately:
– Not getting into the gym as much as I should.
– Letting date nights with my wife fall to the bottom of my list.
– Holding back from taking the next big step in my business out of fear.

So I'll ask you: What are you tolerating right now?

– That job you know isn’t right for you?
– The college major you picked out of inertia instead of intention?
– That business idea you’ve thought about, written down, but never acted on because you’re afraid it won’t work?

The truth is, those choices - or the lack of them - have shaped the life you’re living right now.

But here’s the good news:

You already know what you need to do to change course. Sometimes it just takes a reminder like this to nudge you back on track.

Welcome to First Things First, Reader. I’m glad you’re here.

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Colin Rocker Founder, @careercolin & For The Firsts ​Instagram | LinkedIn​

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My friend Joe Gonzalez, the founder of Brooklyn Stroll Club, recently launched a podcast, Father Figure, and I've been loving it. You can catch up on the first few issues here.

One of the people I met at that lunch I was speaking about earlier, Antonio Neves, founded a men's meetup group in LA where each week they meet up in-person and ask themselves these two questions:

• What are you celebrating?
• What are you navigating?

And if you haven't asked those of yourself lately, I'd recommend it. Better yet, meet up with a close friend and compare notes!

Reader

It really means the world to me that you show up to explore these topics with me each week, so thank you for reading. If something above resonated with you, consider sharing it with someone else who might need it too.

If you have any feedback, you can always reply or email me at me@colinrocker.com

And remember that you’re not behind. You’re just building something different.

Chat soon,

Colin